Whatís your worst physical feature?

- My arse. Itís full of cellulite. No, itís my stomach actually.

Did you have a nickname in high school?

- Yes. Arrie, which is a bit weak. Got one now, called Carnal Arse Stench. I ask Melanie to call me Farnsworth. She gets sick of hearing the name Arno and so do I.

If they made a movie of your life, who would play you?

- Brad Pitt? (laughs) No, Iím not sure, all the best actors are too old.

What do you like most about yourself?

- The fact that the creativity I still bring forth is still now and then mindblowing. To myself, that is. I donít know how anyone else feels.

How old were you when you lost your virginity?

- 16. In a terrible dark place in Worcester, the wine area in the Western Cape. Her name wasÖno, I canít say her name - the town was too small.

Is it ever ok to lie?

- Yes. In order to prevail the equilibrium of the status of something important. Or to keep myself out of kak. I do think can be okay when people are losing perspective of normality.

What music do you like to make out to?

- No music, silence is best.

Who's your hero?

- Superman. And Thor, god of thunder.

Whatís the one thing you canít live without?

- Mel.

Have you ever had an inappropriate crush on anyone?

- Mel and I both had a crush on the girl from Terminator 3, but Iím not sure how inappropriate it was.

Who do you identify with most, Mary Kate or Ashley Olsen? (The evil twin or good twin?

- Who?

Are you concerned about global warming?

- Very much.

Whatís your favourite movie of all time?

- Superman.

Do you believe in keeping secrets?

- No, I canít keep a secret as hard as I try.

Can money buy happiness?

- Mmm, well-managed money can buy a lot of happiness I guess. Or, money can buy things that make you happy. You can also be happy without money. Debbie Harry of Blondie once said she enjoyed their time with and without money. I think itís your decision how to live life Ė you can be happy in both wealth and poverty.

Do you prefer rollercoasters or long walks on the beach?

- Long walks on the beach. Hate rollercoasters.

If you put out a lonely hearts ad in the paper how would it read?

- Send a photo of yourself for a good time.

What do you think of plastic surgery?

- Itís very important. (laughs) One should make sure the plastic surgeon is one of your best friends. You donít want him to work on you when heís angry.

Matthew Freemantle