Footskating 101

First appearing in 30 second clips on MTV, the art of footskating has somehow excited its creators into stretching the gag into a 90-minute feature film. Vince (Rob Van Vuuren), a poor miner’s son, finds himself tasked with saving his grandmother’s lungs, his house from repossession and his entire town from an imminent mining explosion. In order to raise the funds, Vince and his brother Delarey (Brendan Jack) set about the uncharted and obstacle-ridden path of footskating. The goofy storyline is not surprising, nor is it necessarily bad, aspiring as it does to share the company of other harebrained movies such as Shawn of the Dead and Dodgeball. But where those films were silly without losing their intelligence or flair and delivered more than enough laugh-out-loud humour, Footskating 101 is neither clever nor fresh and only rarely as funny as it thinks it is. It was meant to redeem its weak predecessor, Crazy Monkey: Straight Outta Benoni, but Footskating 101 has served only to disappoint us all over again.

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Evan Almighty

This take on the story of Noah’s Ark finds Evan Baxter (Steve Carrell), who played the news anchor from Bruce Almighty, having to give up a career as a U.S. Congressman when God (Morgan Freeman) appears and requests the building of an Ark. A series of mediocre and exhausted “comic” sketches follow – Evan grows a big beard, trundles around in long robes and hammers his thumb repeatedly while being poohed on a lot. So far, so mediocre. The sickly sweet religious and environmental messages, the slapstick bird-pooh witticisms and the fact that ARK stands for “acts of random kindness” all make for a wholly nauseating experience that is about as funny as The Good Book itself. With a reported budget of $175 million you would expect Evan Almighty to produce a few giggles and an epic cinematic experience. 12-year-olds may like it. The rest of us should stay away.


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