One Night Only

You might have spilled a beer, or taken the wrong view on horses, or even accidentally injured someone on a first date. But if you think that was bad, you're about to be made to feel much better about it. We asked Facebookers for their most awkward date moments.

Cover your eyes, this might hurt a little...

"I went on a blind date with a friend's brother. We were having a fairly nice time, until he told me a story about how he had been out working as a fencer (not with a big pointy sword, sadly, but building fences) and had needed to go to the toilet for a number two, and for some unknown reason, had done it in the packet that his lunchtime pasty had come in.

Then, he said, he had heard a 'woof' from a distance, and a big golden retriever came bounding towards him, sniffed around the offending bag and ate the whole lot. He thought it was hilarious. I chuckled politely, made my excuses and left."

Fiona, 37, Johannesburg


"I'd already taken this girl on several dates and made it quite clear that I was infatuated with her. She didn't have much time left in the city, and I knew that I had to do something soon, or I would hate myself forever. So I got us a table at a la-di-da restaurant, and put on a big show where I had the sommelier and the chef come over to the table and make their suggestions, speaking to them in my schoolboy French and doing all that restaurant schmoozing.

I ordered for both of us - two bottles of wine, starters, mains and desert - and then after dinner I told my date that I'd booked a suite upstairs. She said that the idea sounded dubious and that she would not be romanced. The suite was huge and overlooked the company gardens.

I opened a bottle of wine and all the curtains so that we could look at the cityscape surrounding us. I put some music on. There was a dining room, lounge, balcony, and two bedrooms. Without even a kiss she just got up and said goodnight. I ended up sleeping in the loo of the two rooms and paying R90 to watch Barely Legal. Alone."

Dylan, 25, Cape Town

 

"I knew it wasn't happening when he looked out the window and said 'Hmm, is it raining? It's hard to tell the difference when you have a gift and can see energy from the sun as clearly as rain.'"

Nicola, 23, Johannesburg

 

"I went to a movie and a drink for the first date. I was recovering from tonsillitis, so was on antibiotics. I didn't know that I wasn't supposed to drink alcohol. I had some wine, and then decided it was time to phone my mother to be fetched. I was 16 at the time. It was during the good old days of no cell phones, so I had to walk to the pay phone down the corridor (we were in Sandton at the spur - very romantic). As I was walking to the pay phone with my date, I started to feel quite sick and a bit dizzy.

I got to the pay phone and started dialling the number. The next thing I knew I was sitting on the floor of the mall holding the pay phone. I thought that I had just slipped and that my date hadn't really noticed. He then walked me to the car park where my mom was fetching me and never called me again.

I didn't know why until I bumped into him a year later - he told me that as I dialled the number on the pay phone I passed out on the floor. He got freaked out because he couldn't wake me and started running around searching for a security guard but there wasn't one in sight. He said I then came round and started banging the pay phone against the wall. I have no memory of this."

Lisa, 29, Johannesburg


"I once kissed a girl after going to a Chinese restaurant for dinner and she went into slight anaphylactic shock due to me having eaten chicken satay. We started off in the restaurant with a runny nose, rapidly swelling lips (kinda sexy) to me sitting in the hospital with her crying and her sister and Dad on their way to get her.

Once she'd been treated, her sister said to call her next week as she walked away looking like Mr Potatohead. After me telling my mates, she now gets called "Jagger" due to the big lips she sported that night."

Jim, 34, Durban

 
 
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