It doesn’t really bear thinking about, but I know without question that my parents had sex in Spring 1979, because roughly nine months later my brother arrived squealing into the world.
It is weird to think of one’s parents “at it”. Mercifully, I had a room upstairs. My brother’s room was below mine and next to theirs; he was less lucky.
But he was never subjected to anything like the sight that greeted a close friend who, aged nine, walked in on his parents involved in what he described as “some form of sexual judo”.
If this has conjured an uncomfortable daydream of your own conception, there is a way it can be dealt with. Play the scene out in your head as if from an All Ages drama. See the couple kissing briefly then cut to the next morning as they smile at each other politely other with duvet pulled up to the chin.
It is not surprising that so many South African babies are born in June. People have a lot of sex in Spring and, according to a prominent US professor Norman Rosenthal, it’s scientific. As a result of the change of light, the body naturally produces less melatonin during Spring, causing a lift in mood, a reduced desire to sleep and an increase in sexual appetite.
“Poets have written for centuries about the effects of spring,” Rosenthal says. “They have known, for example, that sex drives and energy levels surge for many people in the spring. But we are only now beginning to understand why.”
So for those in the right, ahem, position, Spring has only one thing on its mind. For those of you who are not so easily pleased, we’ve compiled a bumper issue of Extra Virgin to keep you occupied. We travel to New York, introduce two New Zealanders who are taking the world of comedy by storm and interview Joburg’s weird and wonderful musical duo The Bear + Givan Lötz.
This month’s money section sweats nervously as the term “credit crunch” enters the dictionary, while the environment column celebrates the bursting forth of spring from its porch in Grahamstown. The home section gets all springy and runs after you with a bedazzle gun.
With all that excitement to come, it is almost unhealthy to add that next month’s Extra Virgin will come with instructions on how to enter our competition to win a bright red, brand-spanking new Vespa. So we won’t mention it…much.