Frolic in the waves with Leo and his new love interest. Possibly even be that love interest. Maybe you’ll even meet Gisele on the beach one balmy night and she will tell you all about the heartache with Leo and you’ll understand and she’ll give you a peck on the cheek and boom, YOU will be the celebrity on holiday. You’ve got to get there first though, and this can be the hard part. Can you afford to holiday like a celebrity? And where do they go anyway?

'Every since overweight UK DJ Chris Moyles dragged himself to the summit of Africa’s highest mountain, there has been a spate of celebrity interest in doing the same.'

Dubai

An increasingly popular destination for the world’s celebrities with its lavish hotels, Dubai is perhaps your best bet. Being en route to Europe means it is easily – and cheaply – visited, and the growing ex-pat community will make you feel at home.

Cancun, Mexico

This is a slightly longer haul. In fact it’s about as far as you can travel from South Africa without considering going the other way around the globe. But the as yet unmarried Matthew McConnaghey goes there, a prospect tantalising enough for some women to see it as a hop, skip and a jump.

Mount Kilimanjaro

Every since overweight UK DJ Chris Moyles dragged himself to the summit of Africa’s highest mountain, there has been a spate of celebrity interest in doing the same. It is close to home, which should make holidays here cheaper, except that most of Kenya’s tourists are bazillionaires who travel everywhere by hot air balloon.

St Lucia, Caribbean

Amy Winehouse seems to have made this her second home, which may scare most of you off. There are, however, ways to avoid her (steer clear of bars and shady street corners) and enjoy the magnificent beaches. The flight will cost you, but it’s cheap once you’re there.